


Conversations

by SilenceoftheSolitude



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Episode: s03e13 The Devil You Know, Episode: s07e12 Evolution (2), F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, Male Friendship, Pre-Series, Tok'ra, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 04:47:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilenceoftheSolitude/pseuds/SilenceoftheSolitude
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One conversation Jacob Carter had planned on making and four he would have never dreamt of having.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations

**Author's Note:**

> I have no beta so all mistakes are my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. No copyright infringment intended.

**1.**  
  
It started easily enough, with Jacob smartly dressed in his dress blues, his shoes perfectly polished and the chips on his shoulders reflecting the light of day, but with every step he made things became gradually more difficult.  
  
As Jacob rapped on the door he realized that the reason behind his discomfort was that even if he wasn't a man that easily scared, this wasn't about fear. It was about need. In his life he had never nedded something so desperately as he now needed her father's blessing. Because he loved this woman, and her father mattered to her. So he mattered to him.  
  
"Hi, Jacob," the man greeted him. "Debra is not here."  
  
"I know," Jacob took a deep breath, "actually, it's you I wanted to talk to, sir."  
  
"Sure, son, come in."  
  
He stepped aside to let Jacob inside, and the young Lieutenant squared his shoulder and straightened his back to remember himself that he was an officer of the United State Air Force, he wasn't easily scared.  
  
As Jacob sat on the living room couch and refused any beverage offered to him, he realized that the only courage he needed was that given by his love for Debra. "I would like to ask you your daughter's hand, sir," it was easy to get to the point, because he was serious in his intentions.  
  
Actually, Jacob Carter had never been so serious in his whole life.  
  


**2.**  
  
Sam had been home when he'd told her. He had expected her to cry and shut down. He had expected her to scream at him and stop talking altogether.  
  
But as much as it pained him to admit it, he didn't know Mark half as well as he knew his sister. He didn't know his son at all.  
  
He came back from basketball practice a little sweaty and a little tired, but with a content expression. Jacob realized that Mark noticed the grave atmosphere as soon as he entered the house, "what's up, dad?"  
  
Jacob didn't know what to say. For the first time in his life he was entirely too scared to talk.  
  
But the kid was smart, "where's mom?"  
  
Too smart.  
  
"Dad?" Jacob could hear panick rise in his kid's voice.  
  
"There was an accident..."  
  
"Where is she?" Mark screamed.  
  
"She didn't make it."  
  
Mark threw his bag on the floor, and as tears started flowing down his face he ran towards his father and punched him on the chest as pain overtook him.  
  
Jacob didn't stop him, he didn't feel the right to, but eventually Mark calmed down on his own and he slumped on the floor. Mark's eyes raised to his expecting some explanation, and Jacob found his voice again. "She was on her way home from the airport, the taxi got ran ov-"  
  
"You were supposed to pick her up!" Anger suppressed pain in Mark's eyes, "you killed her!"

He lost his voice as Mark stormed out of the room.

Jacob was finally hit with the realization that his wife was dead, that his kids were going to grow up without their mother.  
  
He was terrified.

 

  
 **3.**  
  
Jacob felt tired.  
  
Not the lymphoma-induced type of tiredness he had been feeling for the last months. More like the mental tiredness that one felt after pulling one too many all nighter.  
  
He had been thrown into a science-fiction story of which he lacked the basics, and now flashes of places and people he had never seen before nor knew existed overtook his mind as soon as he closed his eyes. Visual and auditory stimuli seemed to surround him constantly.  
  
The symbiote inside his head had been quiet so far, resting after using his little strength to cure his cancer, but when Jacob fell asleep images stirred him awake. And he knew the memories weren't his, although it sure as hell felt like it.  
  
'I'm sorry'.  
  
Jacob turned around looking for the source of the voice all around him, but there was no one in sight.  
  
He heard a soft chuckle and he realized it was coming from inside his mind.  
  
"What the hell?" That felt weird.  
  
'At the beginning it always does. It takes time to adjust to the fact that you can hear someone else's thoughts inside your mind.'  
  
Selmak! Of course. Jacob took a deep steadying breath, "I'm sorry, I thought you were sleeping... and it really is weird."  
  
The symbiote chuckled, 'you know, you don't have to talk, I can read your thoughts.'  
  
'Right, sorry.' Jacob paused, not sure of what to say next, 'so... like your new host?' Ok, that was lame.  
  
'A little stubborn, but I can't complain.'  
  
Jacob felt a sense of warmth engulf him and instinctly knew it came from Selmak. It felt a little strange being so bare in front of someone else, but the process went both ways, and he was distinctly reminded of the love he'd shared with his wife. He had never been able to read her thoughts exactly - or she his - but they knew what the other felt instinctively. Just like he now knew what Selmak felt.  
  
Yeah, all in all he couldn't complain either.

 

  
 **4.**  
  
Things with Mark had started to look up again and the greatest joy for Jacob had been to get to know his two grandchildren and to be able to hold them and spoil them like any other grandparent was supposed to.  
  
Only he wasn't like any other grandparent. His job was to go on undercover missions to other planets in order to rid the galaxy of the evil version of the symbiote currently inhabiting his neck, risking his life on a daily basis.  
  
Not that he was complaining, Jacob loved his job, but when his grandchildren came to him asking him why he couldn't be there for Christmas, giving a straight answer was very hard.  
  
'I'm sorry Jacob,' Selmak's regret spred over his own.  
  
David's eyes were a little sad, Lisa's were downright crushed. "Don't you love us, grandpa?" Her voice cut like a knife in his stomach.  
  
Jacob's hand reached her cheek and caressed it softly, "of course I love you, sweetheart." His eyes turned to David, "I love both of you with all my heart, and there would be nothing that'd make me happier than spend Christmas with you, but my job is very important."  
  
His mind was filled with images of Mark and Sam as he had a similar conversation with them and then many faces that belonged to Selmak's previous hosts. It didn't matter how long the Tok'ra had been in his head, his memories never ceased to overwhelm him.  
  
A lone tear threathened to escape Jacob's eye.  
  
"Kids," Mark's voice came from behind his back, and Jacob turned to see his son kneeling down to be level with his children, "you know why grandpa Jake can't come home for Christmas? Because he loves you very much and he wants you to be safe, and his job helps to keep you safe.  
  
"It's like when a doctor stays in a hospital during the holidays. He doesn't want to stay away from his family, but he knows that other people need his help."  
  
Jacob smiled to his son as a sudden wave of pride invaded his body and the retired general could feel Selmak smile knowingly inside his head.  
  
"Thank you grandpa," Lisa threw her arms around his neck in a tight embrace.  
  
He probably didn't deserve a 'Grandpa of the year' t-shirt, but as one of his arms stroked Lisa's back, his free hand squeezing David's and his eyes roamed over his son's face, he felt loved enough. And maybe next year he'd have rid the galaxy of the Goa'uld and he could be home in time for Christmas.

 

  
 **5.** (Post Evolution Part 2)  
  
Jacob had been enjoying a good lunch before he'd found himself face-to-face with Jack O'Neill in his VIP room.  
  
It was a rare occurrence in his day-to-day life. The food wasn't really that good, but the company more than made up for it.  
  
He had never thought he'd enjoy the company of such an eclectic group of people. Two Jaffa, an archaeologist, an Air Force Colonel and his astrophysicist-Air-Force-Major daughter. Individually he could maybe picture himself being entertained by all of them in a different manner. Bra'tac was certainly akin to Selmak in his being old and wise; Teal'c was always keen to learn new Earth traditions, much like Selmak had been in the early days of their symbiosis; Daniel was smart but humble and, though he lived in his own world most of the times, he could be entertaining at an intellectual level; Sam was his daughter, and he loved her and her company immensly. And then of course there was Jack.  
  
Jack was... well, Jack. Always ready to joke, lighten the mood, but a keen mind none the less. He was quite the analyzer, and reminded Jacob of a younger version of himself although Jack tended to act cocky and Jacob never had. But that was a play, a way to put his enemies off, and a way to forget whatever dark memory threathened to take over his mind.  
  
And Jack was the one guy Jacob trusted as much as himself to keep his daughter safe.  
  
It had scared Jacob to no end when he had first realized that the grey haired Colonel held a deep affection for his daughter. Not because he didn't like Jack, but because Jack could be a danger to Sam's career.  
  
It hadn't taken Jacob long to realize that whatever Jack felt for Sam was entirely reciprocated. And that was even more dangerous.  
  
Yet something seemed to hold them back from breaking the barriers they had erected between themselves. And Jacob suspected it had a lot to do with their unwavering sense of duty and their desire to rid the galaxy of their worst enemies.  
  
Before leaving the commissary, his symbiote had not-so-subtly suggested that Jacob may want to tell Jack what had been running in his mind for the past days ("driving me crazy" Selmak had emphasized). Jacob had relented at the condition that the symbiote kept quiet for the duration of the talk.  
  
"'Sup, Jake?" Jack was smiling, clearly hoping that Jacob wasn't about to give him some bad news.  
  
"I wanted to ask you a personal favor, Jack."  
  
"Sure, fire away."  
  
Jacob took his time, considering how to breach the topic. It didn't matter how much he had reharsed this speech with Selmak, he was still wary of scaring Jack. "I want you to listen quietly before you say anything, and I don't want you to feel the need to be defensive."  
  
"Well, the start's promising..."  
  
Jack moved to get more comfortable in his chair, and Jacob took that as his cue, "I know your job is important, and I know you would never do anything to compromise my daughter," Jack ran his hand in his hairs, a clear sign of his discomfort. "But I want you to promise me something, Jack. I want you to tell me that when this is all over, you're not gonna run from her. I need to know that whatever happens to me, you'll take care of her as much as she'll allow you to."  
  
Jack had stopped moving. He was still. Jacob could see the conflicting emotions as they passed his face, and he knew he was fighting hard not to try convincing him that he and Sam were friends - great friends - and nothing more.  
  
Finally his eyes settled with determination and locked to Jacob's. "I promise, Dad."  
  
And for once Jacob felt that the title wasn't a joke, but a determined promise.

**Author's Note:**

> The names of Jacob's wife and Mark's kids have all been taken from Stargate Wiki.


End file.
